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Healing Journey

Updated: Jun 20, 2022

This was written on 01/31/2018

Healing is a journey that too often gets mistaken for a destination. Everything in life will affect us, and every person that comes into our lives will teach us something new. If you have been taken for granted or are hurt-- you're going to go through pain, grieving, and confusion. It happened, you were betrayed, got hurt, cheated on, back stabbed, etc. Right now, you're feeling sad, mad, incomplete, confused, torn, you name it, you're feeling it.

What to do? Damage control. Heal. How do you heal? FEEL. Feel everything, every emotion.

I know feeling pain can be scary and we will try to avoid it. I know it is not easy. But believe me, it is the best thing you will do. Why? When you feel the pain, you learn a lot about yourself. When you feel the pain, you grow.

First things first, accept it. Yes, this is happening to you. Yes, you're in the middle of all these emotions, you're in an emotional roller coaster. Even though you don't feel okay, that's okay. You're feeling, you're healing. Once you have realized this… Cry. Let it out. Scream, shout, jump, run. You have all the rights in the world to own your emotions. They are yours and nobody else's. Call a friend, talk to a loved one, let it out. Do whatever you have to do to get it out of your system! (healthy choices, of course!)

Example: I was not able to completely start my healing process until I deleted the individual from all my social networks. No, it is not immature. But let us be honest-- Seeing them pop up on the newsfeed and tapping through their stories, does not give you the chance to disconnect from them. Rather you'll be working yourself up wondering about who they are with and so on and so forth.

Once you've done that, take care of yourself like you never have before. Spoil yourself, do something you love that you have not done in a while. Light up a candle, go skating, try a new hobby. If you're feeling too down for that then allow yourself to curl up in a ball and cry. Cry with your heart and soul, feel it. However, do not spend too much in closed doors-- that can lead you to feeling worse. Whatever you do, do not dwell too much.

Forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for staying too long, for taking too much, for getting mad at yourself, for being to mean to yourself, for thinking you did not deserve more. Fight yourself and your thoughts.

You're going to want to reach out to them, you're going to want them back. You'll most likely reach out to them, you'll text them, call them. Then... They'll quickly remind you why it didn't work out in the first place. Give yourself the gift of completely disconnecting from them and completely reconnecting with yourself.

Change your thoughts. When you begin to blame yourself, and begin to feel weak- tell yourself "I am strong, I am worthy, I deserve love, I deserve great things." Keep taking care of yourself. Realize healing is not a destination rather a journey, a process. You are going to have great days and you are going to have horrible days. Whatever you do, do not give up. Love yourself unconditionally. Constantly remind yourself that healing is a process, a journey. No one can tell you how long it should take you to get over this. These are your emotions, this is your pain, this is your journey. Own it. We all experience things differently.

Be kind to yourself! You will get mad and irritated during your journey. You will get impatient. Just remind yourself that healing takes time. This is where you keep growing- you learn to be patient with yourself. Once you learn to love every emotion, you will fall in love with the highs and the lows.

Please, feel! chances are the person who hurt you never healed from previous pain and unfortunately, you paid the price. Forgive them and move forward. It sucks, hurt people will hurt people. When you feel like giving up on your healing journey, ask yourself "Do I want to be like the person who hurt me?" No. Therefore, heal. Feel to heal and then let go.

Worry about you. You will worry about them and that is normal but never be afraid to worry entirely about yourself. You must be selfish in your healing journey. This is all about you. Do you. Success is the best revenge. Work on yourself entirely. Set goals. Healing is succeeding. Remember: Healing is a journey. Enjoy your journey! Feel the pain to heal from the pain and let go.

Things will fall into place. Remind yourself you're worthy of wonderful things. Believe in yourself and be patient with yourself. Enjoy your good days and love yourself during your bad days. Time will heal you. Dance in your rain.

Never be afraid to seek counseling. It helps, it helped me.

Love your healing journey.



​Fiorella Marquez

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